Walking into a new chapter

It's legit, people. I got accepted for my degree application and will soon enroll in Bachelor in Interior Architecture (Hons.) in September and I am in a mixture of excitement and nervousness to start another chapter in my life. I took a long deep 1 year of rest from diploma so my bones are being mad nervous about this. Just hoping that life would do justice to me and let me graduate on time and at ease! Being 22 soon made me feelin' so old but yet I knew that I gotta do everything in my own pace. A year off before diploma and went a year off before degree, so productive uh. I know that I have to try harder this time and make everyone proud and strive better than the 4 chapters before. I have so much regret during my diploma year and determinate to not repeat the same mistakes during degree. Few of them would be; 

Confident, Not

I love doing this. I mean I have always been my dream to enroll in this course but having lots of friends that far talented than myself made me having my inferiority complex. I felt that I am always not good enough for the subject no matter hard I tried. Gotta demolish this during degree! 

Giving my fullest, Not

I always knew that I had this in me. I know that I had never push my ultimate limit to success yet that's why I am always like 0.2-0.5 away from dean and I gotta not complain. I usually got excited at the beginning of every project and went all out but by the middle of the project I'd lost my enthusiasm and got all drained thus resulted to unable to reach my target.

Saying no, Not

I need to really shave away the habit of unable to say NO whenever my friends asked me to join them having fun. Well, it is not like I am all about fun during diploma, but I'd always failed to say NO whenever such situation happen. So in a brand new chapter of my life, I'll be trying hard to say NO when it is necessary and people, please understand! 

Well organized, Not

This one is damn serious. I need to get my lazy ass up and start organizing. PERIOD

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I am so nervous for September 11 because I know my life would never be easier but harder time by time. I have to be fully prepared because I am a step closer to the world. I will be meeting new friends and have to make friends again *deep sigh* why can't my diploma peeps enroll together with me? exclude that I will be enrolling together with Nadzirah. She is the only diploma friend *cries a river* I'd be leaving the family once again and I am with all my will hope that our relationship would get even stronger after this. Weird feeling about this. Only Allah knows what is really inside my heart. I'll be meeting with new lecturers and wonder if the man who 'virtually interviewed' me would be my lecturer or not since I knew he had given me good scores during the last interview *I thank you, whoever you are*

One thing I am nervous about is my new work environment. I had been to UiTM Puncak Alam before and in my judgment, the buildings and environment are way better than UiTM Seri Iskandar. Googled some articles and blog about my the new buildings and it looked all nice. Can't wait! 

294 nights

Bayyi, who?

I got heart-wrench every time I thought that we will not be together as 4 anymore. We lived together in a room for merely 3 semesters and got to admit they are the few amongst my friends in college that I would say, mean the world to me. We might not spend most of our time together but the value we have put in this friendship is just priceless. When we first met, I have never thought we would be this close and how we relied on each other (in another word, how I can rely almost everything to them) after a not fond relationship with my previous roommates (we just can't get along) and I survived the next 3 semesters with these bunch. All we did in the room was mostly shouting and being mean to each other and not trying to pretend to be someone else when we are together which is a good sign to know that you guys are doing well, being friends. Being back to the room after a rough day at class is what made our room felt like home. I had these few people to hear all my rants and things I could not tell everyone but them. I told them almost everything about myself, especially to Bayyi. I had Bal who always asked me 'macam mana tadi?' 'kau okay tak?' and that is how I usually started off my story-telling session and get them to listen to me. They made me feel at ease every time I shared my stories because they are the few amongst my fewest friends that are always been really supportive towards myself. I had Raihan who always get fascinated and amazed with my works when I did not feel like it at all. She went 'waaaahhhhh' to almost everything I showed her and that always made me feel motivated. 

Before you guys get confused of who is who

Puteri Balqis Azman

the cutest after all

Raihan Rahim

Siti Khatijah Nur Rubayyi Aurora Farhana

My mind started to flashback all the memories we had along this one and half year being roommates but could not manage to convey them in words. From biggest thing that made we laughed like hell to the smallest thing we fought about, I still love them and want to be with them if I had that chance again. Don't you guys too? The good thing I learned being with them is, even thought we got in an argument or disagreement, we have never thought to end this friendship. We accept each other well, I can say. If we sum up these 3 semesters, we had only 42 weeks being together but I felt like I have known them for my entire life! I could not ask Allah for more, you guys are the best out of the best in college. It is the final semester for Raihan and Balqis whilst Bayyi and I have another semester to cope with. Since I am back briefly to college for Viva presentation, I had planned to meet them and tagged Bayyi along (although that girl had no reason to come actually). Sadly I could not really spend a whole day with them. I was busy going back and forth to complete my portfolio before the presentation and Raihan and Balqis were also busy preparing for their final diploma show. What was left? Bayyi who had nothing to do but all three of us were busy with our works. I felt bad when I can't do anything to entertained her. Luckily she had her 'friend' to keep her company.

Seriously us!

Only on the third day I managed to meet Raihan and Balqis and got to see their exhibition which is I am very proud of them that they are one way to go to finish their diploma. We went for our mandatory pizza date. Why pizza? because that is the only choice we have in Seri Iskandar. Later at night, we spent some time went to Tesco just for a walk before we went back to college and get all drained because of the presentations we had. Bayyi was an exception that she had no reason to be tired and still mingling around that night with her 'friend'. We left at 7 the next day so we only get to say bye to each other and not get any emotional because I was running late for train. I'd always cherished every single memory I had with them. Though we may not be together in the future, I hope this friendship remains as what it is always is, a love and hate relationship like no other. We barely take selfies together or descent photos since we did don't hang out as much as we did with our course mates, but we spent most our time together if we take sleeping time into account. teehee. Well, we did have lots of embarrassing photos which is seriously inappropriate to post. I had these people who would tell me they had given up to wake me up every time but still did or keep one saying they had given up to help me but ended up helping me all the way. 

I am always grateful to Allah for them even though Raihan always made up her mind to not be in the same room with me at every end of the semester and without her knowledge, I will write request letter to the college officials to be partnered with them again and that is how we ended up 3 semesters together. I know Raihan loved me even though she did not say that to my face but I have always heard that she is excited every time I am coming back. Come on Raihan, lower down that ego and tell me you love me like I do. It is amazing how 4 completely different ladies were able to bear with one another who is absolutely not-my-type-of-friend. In 42 weeks, we had gone for not more than 10 dates altogether and our weekends were only involved sleeping and picking up fights but I still think that is the best after all. We do not need a fancy occasion to have fun. We can turn a normal chat to a very funny one, every time. 

Thank you for being my motivators, my loyal listeners and honest critics. Thank you for letting the room got messed up every time I am meeting my project deadline. Thank you for being such a good friend to me, Raihan and Balqis (we still have another semester left, Bayyi. We'll see). Thank you for being part of my life bijes. 

I AM GOING TO MISS YOU BOTH (Bayyi who?)

Semester 3 (our very first outing to Ipoh)

tak rindu pun

and this one girl in blue scarf pretends to be really descent 

Three of us and ........ our driver

Semester 4 (the last day we met)

Mak buat ape tewww

ugh, what is up with myself that I looked at Bayyi that way?

In 4th Semester

How much effort I put for Raihan

Letter to bestfriends

Dear Wooh bitch  getout myway

STOP BEING SO BUSY AND SPEND TIME 

WITH ME!

The end of my rants

Bestfriend of yours,
Miss Afiqa-who-is-mad

242 months

'so Afiqa, what is your New Year resolution?'

I was dumbfounded upon hearing Douglas brought the question for me to asnwer. He looked at my eyes for seconds waiting for my answer but I was just unable to answer him because I have not really thought of it, really. he was surprised but I was more surprised. It is new year already? 2015 had just passed? we are in 2016? Already? but I was not ready for a brand new year and brand new number to my age when everything about my teen years seemed very close to my heart. I do have plans for future but I never particularly set any year to accomplish them. I rather go with the flow. I like that, thinking of where life will bring me, I just like it. I did not realize I am almost over my diploma and now doing my internship in an architect firm somewhere in Likas, Kota Kinabalu. Moreover, an international one! after I am back to college, it will the final semester. Hopefully I can get through it and able to make it so I can make my parents proud. I have enough trouble that I made throughout my teen years, so I hope I would make them proud. so I thought, instead of setting a resolution for 2016, I would set plans I want to accomplished within few years from now. 

To travel independently (ultimate goal)

LETS GO! 

be it domestically or internationally, I want start this. Been in a few road trips with my college mates and I had so much fun. Every time we go on trip, be it a short or long one, I always be the most excited one. Impromptu plan are my favorite, going with the flow, letting the road took us to wherever or even having a last minute decision making made most memorable memories of all! and I now I'd like to start to go to nearby countries before I start my long journey to the east. Convincing my parents are always be an issue, my parents specially my dad have problem with their growing children. I think parents who worked really hard for their kids always have this issue. Especially with a troublemaker like me, they did not trust me because I tend to follow my head and make stupid decisions. But for me, that is life, I need to make mistakes to succeed. I have to learn. I did not want to go to the safe road, I want it to be out of my comfort zone. This why I have conflict with my parents. I know they want the best for me, neither do I. So I plan to have some backpacking journey in a country which in the top of my list. South Korea. be with whoever it might be. whoever who wants to go with me, or I can go on my own (my parents will be totally opposing to this) I just want to go for it. So first thing to do? start off with a piggy bank! 

A negative person no more

may this inspire us

I let this picture convey my message

Matter of acceptance

 from Anis Azziyati Facebook Account

Something about this statement make me wonder. I have always go against racism, but I did not realize the anti-racism I endorse is selfish. All I fight for are the equality between Bumiputeras, Chinese and Indians. The equality of services need to be served amongst Muslims, Christians, Buddhist and Hindus whilst it is actually more than that. Other races deserves the same privilege too. The immigrants like Banglas, Indons and even the Sulu people should get the equal treatments. Talking about the crime rates they owned make me have this distance from becoming friends with them. I set a barrier towards them, I set my mind that they are all the same. But coming to think about it again, religions and descendant did not promote any violence. It is from ourselves, so to hate a religion for what the believer did is totally wrong. KKK, ISIS or any sort of militants is not a religion representative, they are irresponsible group who spread ideology far from what the religion itself taught to its believers. So in a new age, more mature me, I want to become someone who treat everyone well. Good or bad

Action speaks louder than words

photo courtesy

I am a defensive person. Arguing and questioning back to everyone who tell me I am wrong is one of my hidden talent. Even though I did not meant to be rude or lose my temper, I often found my self under bad temper circumstance which leads to a bad intercourse with people around me. I did not realize until I lose it. Then I go regretting them all over again. I was like that mostly during my school days. Be it with my friends (sorry Janet, who deal with this a lot) or my teachers. I get more matured in college, if my college friends thinks that I am still a temperamental person, I was even worse before. In college, no one would deal with that stupid act like those in high school. But I learnt a lot in college specially in temper management. I am a lot better. 

Afiqa is equal to AWKWARD

I am an awkward person. Often found myself in a void mind whenever I met someone after so long. Happened to my ex classmates in school. We were once very close to each other but 'puff', just after a year, I am unable to create any conversation with them. It was just awkward. Same goes with my relatives. I do not understand why did this happen but I want it no more. 

Speak less, write more

Pardon me with the downloads box there. Blogged since 2009 (old blog deleted due to so much immature posts there. I 'ewww' myself too) and I like talking through my writing because I am literal-disabled person. Because of that, I tend to speak my feeling through words instead of talking straight to them. Those who ever received heart-warming or a long essay from me definitely aware of this. People would say speak less and read more but sorry sir, I just hate to read. That Maze Runner books I bought last year still have not surpass page 3 on the first book. So please expect less from me. 

Write no stupidity

photo courtesy

My main purpose to blog was to share my sadness. But I do not want to count my sadness anymore so in a brand new year, let me to start writing wise entry to reflect myself more. I want to share my happiness and thoughts to everyone else so that I can not much to be an inspiration but spreading good vibes to everyone else as well as myself. I do not want to regret much of my sadness and be remembered as someone who rant her life in social media. 

2017

15 years later

Last but no least

a good husband to my wives.