for eighteen years, ALLAH has never test me with massive complication in making friends. I was always loved by them. was always treated like a princess. My demands and wills, they will always try to give me satisfaction. Never a second leaving me in idle nor alone. I have never felt loneliness and ignored by them. never. even. for. a. second.
for eighteen years, ALLAH let me living in such wonders and happy surrounds. He may think that I couldn't afford to be tested in having such complexity in friendships. He showers me with the finest friends ever. those who would tolerate with me, spoiling me, until I become what I am now, a total spoil brat.
for eighteen years, ALLAH gave me with such angels who would help me to pick up everything on the floor 'cause I refused to pick anything on the floor. yes, I am on that level of annoyance. ever they complaint? yes, they did but still their unconditional love denied every flaws I have.
for eighteen years, ALLAH grants me with His caliphs who would accept my every bad and good. I am a badass, I do not deny that. I am really, A BADASS. I was always accepted even I was the one who guilty. I would never say sorry to things that were my fault. I would never and they, those amazing people, accept me with no excuses. they understand me really well. That I am unable to say sorry, verbally. egoistic? I AM.
for eighteen years, ALLAH makes me the one who always receiving the loves and affections without caring in giving back what I'd received. I become a careless person. I do not care what others may feel. I speak fluent rudeness. I speak my mind out, without caring that the heart may hurt.
Now,
I am in my nineteenth year of living.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH wants me to ready for the world. He tested me with everything. in this short term, I have gone through the most severe complication in making new friends. He made me away from those people from my past year. He wants me to open my eyes. I now knew it.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH presents me with those people I think I would be with, forever. those I think would never betray me. He blinds me with all the sweetness in friendships. I paid full attentions to them. this time, I am the one who showers them with love and affections.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH created a new cool side of me. I've become more caring and changed to be the vice versa of who I was the year before. I helped those who I consider as my best friends and together we betrayed many people, for fun. I think it'd be fun making fun of them. I joined them, isolating them people and be happy. for a moment.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH proven me those people I laugh with soon going to be the people who betrayed me on a level nobody would ever imagined such characters living in a real life. they put me at the nastiest contempt. where I think I have no use of living anymore. where I want to give up everything and pack my stuff and go back home.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH faints me His light. that I am not alone in walking in this darkest path of life. He gave me another people to comfort me, to lead me in getting back the strength I'd lost. those who tell me not to give up, to not getting saddened by all the dramas I am in.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH shown me that those people I make fun of, are the personas that giving me their hands and accept me despite the cruelty I have done to them. No words can describe how ashamed I am to them. to those noble people, hanya Allah tahu betapa jujurnya aku sekarang ini.
in my nineteenth year, ALLAH tells me that saying sorry and apologize is not only because you are guilty, but it shows how mature you are in taking over your feeling. to be happy, you need to forgive and beg for forgiveness. your eminence of egos never be the problem solver. sometimes you need to lower it down. for your own sake. and everyone else.
Thank you Mirul, Wanie, Asma, D, Farah,Shy, Dilla, Joyce, Ad, the AAP117, and also everyone else for helping me a lot in getting into a new me. and also for always telling me that I will always have you guys to lean on. THANK YOU.
the story of my first semester in UiTM Seri Iskandar ends here. 5 more semesters to go. many tests I have yet to encounter.
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