'so Afiqa, what is your New Year resolution?'
I was dumbfounded upon hearing Douglas brought the question for me to asnwer. He looked at my eyes for seconds waiting for my answer but I was just unable to answer him because I have not really thought of it, really. he was surprised but I was more surprised. It is new year already? 2015 had just passed? we are in 2016? Already? but I was not ready for a brand new year and brand new number to my age when everything about my teen years seemed very close to my heart. I do have plans for future but I never particularly set any year to accomplish them. I rather go with the flow. I like that, thinking of where life will bring me, I just like it. I did not realize I am almost over my diploma and now doing my internship in an architect firm somewhere in Likas, Kota Kinabalu. Moreover, an international one! after I am back to college, it will the final semester. Hopefully I can get through it and able to make it so I can make my parents proud. I have enough trouble that I made throughout my teen years, so I hope I would make them proud. so I thought, instead of setting a resolution for 2016, I would set plans I want to accomplished within few years from now.
To travel independently (ultimate goal)
be it domestically or internationally, I want start this. Been in a few road trips with my college mates and I had so much fun. Every time we go on trip, be it a short or long one, I always be the most excited one. Impromptu plan are my favorite, going with the flow, letting the road took us to wherever or even having a last minute decision making made most memorable memories of all! and I now I'd like to start to go to nearby countries before I start my long journey to the east. Convincing my parents are always be an issue, my parents specially my dad have problem with their growing children. I think parents who worked really hard for their kids always have this issue. Especially with a troublemaker like me, they did not trust me because I tend to follow my head and make stupid decisions. But for me, that is life, I need to make mistakes to succeed. I have to learn. I did not want to go to the safe road, I want it to be out of my comfort zone. This why I have conflict with my parents. I know they want the best for me, neither do I. So I plan to have some backpacking journey in a country which in the top of my list. South Korea. be with whoever it might be. whoever who wants to go with me, or I can go on my own (my parents will be totally opposing to this) I just want to go for it. So first thing to do? start off with a piggy bank!
A negative person no more
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| may this inspire us |
I let this picture convey my message
Matter of acceptance
Something about this statement make me wonder. I have always go against racism, but I did not realize the anti-racism I endorse is selfish. All I fight for are the equality between Bumiputeras, Chinese and Indians. The equality of services need to be served amongst Muslims, Christians, Buddhist and Hindus whilst it is actually more than that. Other races deserves the same privilege too. The immigrants like Banglas, Indons and even the Sulu people should get the equal treatments. Talking about the crime rates they owned make me have this distance from becoming friends with them. I set a barrier towards them, I set my mind that they are all the same. But coming to think about it again, religions and descendant did not promote any violence. It is from ourselves, so to hate a religion for what the believer did is totally wrong. KKK, ISIS or any sort of militants is not a religion representative, they are irresponsible group who spread ideology far from what the religion itself taught to its believers. So in a new age, more mature me, I want to become someone who treat everyone well. Good or bad
Action speaks louder than words
I am a defensive person. Arguing and questioning back to everyone who tell me I am wrong is one of my hidden talent. Even though I did not meant to be rude or lose my temper, I often found my self under bad temper circumstance which leads to a bad intercourse with people around me. I did not realize until I lose it. Then I go regretting them all over again. I was like that mostly during my school days. Be it with my friends (sorry Janet, who deal with this a lot) or my teachers. I get more matured in college, if my college friends thinks that I am still a temperamental person, I was even worse before. In college, no one would deal with that stupid act like those in high school. But I learnt a lot in college specially in temper management. I am a lot better.
Afiqa is equal to AWKWARD
I am an awkward person. Often found myself in a void mind whenever I met someone after so long. Happened to my ex classmates in school. We were once very close to each other but 'puff', just after a year, I am unable to create any conversation with them. It was just awkward. Same goes with my relatives. I do not understand why did this happen but I want it no more.
Speak less, write more
Pardon me with the downloads box there. Blogged since 2009 (old blog deleted due to so much immature posts there. I 'ewww' myself too) and I like talking through my writing because I am literal-disabled person. Because of that, I tend to speak my feeling through words instead of talking straight to them. Those who ever received heart-warming or a long essay from me definitely aware of this. People would say speak less and read more but sorry sir, I just hate to read. That Maze Runner books I bought last year still have not surpass page 3 on the first book. So please expect less from me.
Write no stupidity
My main purpose to blog was to share my sadness. But I do not want to count my sadness anymore so in a brand new year, let me to start writing wise entry to reflect myself more. I want to share my happiness and thoughts to everyone else so that I can not much to be an inspiration but spreading good vibes to everyone else as well as myself. I do not want to regret much of my sadness and be remembered as someone who rant her life in social media.
2017
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| 15 years later |
Last but no least
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| a good husband to my wives. |
getout myway
